Girl, Vámonos has unexpectedly become my life mantra recently. Last month along with millions of other Americans, I was laid off from my job of 3.5 years. I looked at the opportunity this posed. I have no job and nothing tying me to the Bay Area where I currently live. The rents are among the highest in the US and my salary did not make up for the increased cost of living. Nathan and I began plotting our next steps.
Just like that we began doing TONs of research and looked at the best cities with growing job markets, the states with the best tax laws for small businesses and individuals, the states with the best healthcare, etc. We looked up everything from the weather, to nearby universities, largest industries, average incomes, average rents, demographics and more!!! I added everything to a handy spreadsheet that maybe I will share with you someday. We want to make a well informed decision as this is one that will impact the trajectory of our lives.
What are the options? We are looking at San Diego, Portland metro area, Reno, Austin, Dallas, San Antonio, Tampa, Miami, Raleigh, and Wyoming. This decision will not be easy and we have only been to 3 of these cities recently (Portland, Reno, San Diego). All of the cities except San Diego are out of state and I have never lived more than 2 hours from my family. Some of you may be able to relate to the feeling of guilt for leaving your family to pursue your own dreams. At some point I have to do what my parents did when they left their families in Mexico and came to the US for better lives. I have to consider my future, I simply do not want to continue living paycheck to paycheck unable to save for investing, or buying a home. You have no idea how badly I want to say, "Fuck it, I will just move to Sacramento (Where my family lives) or I will just stay here (The Bay Area) and tough it out until I find a new job." So badly I want to give up the search and not make the tough decision of leaving my family and friends. Sometimes, I wish I could just be entirely selfish and not worry about anyone else except for my own happiness. I know a lot of POC feel this way and feel uneasy about leaving your families to pursue your own dreams.
With all that said, I do know I am coming from an immense amount of privilege to be able to make this decision that some of you may not have the option to make. Whether you are caring for family members, or don't have legal working status, or you were laid off without a severance and have nothing to hold you over, I am sorry and I see you. I hope that someday you can all get to experience getting up and pursuing your dreams for YOURSELF.
P.S. I am sorry if you live in one of these cities and are tired of "Californians moving there with their big paychecks." Don't worry, I am not one of those LOL, as I do not have a big paycheck, I am deciding to leave the Bay Area and possibly California all together because I can barely afford my living expenses with a job and even less without one. I used to commute 1 hour to San Francisco everyday to live in my old and dingy 1 bedroom with stained carpets, and an AC that leaks dirty pipe water into the shower everyday, while showering. Well I say, NO MORE! I am sick of working so hard and travelling so far for work to just barely get by.
I want to bring you along for the journey and we will see what that decision will ultimately be. I don't even know what that decision will be and it scares me so much! We will be traveling to all of these cities over then next two months before our lease ends. If we do not make it to all of the cities that is because we completely fell in love with a place and can't see ourselves living anywhere else.
If you are ready to do the same or at least follow my journey then...Girl, Vámonos!
Andrea
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I wrote this post before my dad passed away. I removed some of what I wrote about feeling guilt living so far from my dad.
<3 Te quiero mucho Pa. I promise to always strive to be my best self, to treating people with compassion especially those that society says are not worthy of it, and I promise to keep you in my heart no matter where I go.
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